Thursday, September 10, 2015

…said the spider to the fly.

The 2016 Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge continues to come together and is, as previous years, going to be a difficult endeavor to say the least.  If you consider yourself an adventurous person then perhaps the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge is tailor made to test your mettle.
However, considering yourself an adventurous person and being an adventurous person capable of navigating the adversities of the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge are two distinctly different things.  The Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge will entice you and promise you grand accomplishments and lead you to believe you are capable of doing anything.  The Challenge will whisper in your ear and paint a picture of you beating the odds when all others have failed.  But that is exactly what the spider said to the fly.
As you endeavor to conquer the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge, the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge will endeavor to conquer you.  That’s what it does and it is very good at what it does.  If I were a top salesman I would tell you how easy the Challenge really is and that the dialog depicting the unforgiving and unrelenting nature of the Challenge is nothing more than hype to make it seem hard.  I would tell you that because, as a top salesman, I want your money. If I don’t entice you to give me your money then I am no longer the top salesman—some other salesman, one more capable of painting a pretty picture, one comfortable with twisting the truth would take my place.
I am not a salesman.  I am a Hoka Hey Challenger and I know, first hand, just how unforgiving the Challenge can and will be.  If you stop riding for the day because your butt hurts then the Hoka Hey Challenge WILL most likely break you.  If you depend on a GPS while traveling through new areas then the Hoka Hey Challenge WILL break you.  If you are uncomfortable with the thought of being lost, then the Hoka Hey Challenge WILL break you because you will get lost—more than once.  If you do not like being alone for days on end then the Hoka Hey Challenge WILL break you.  If you cannot go a day without showering, if you do not like sleeping on the ground, if you require three meals a day (meals not from a gas station) then the Hoka Hey Challenge WILL break you—twice.  If it is a frightful thought to encounter a deer (or any creature of the forest), as it dashes across the road in front of you in the middle of the night, then the Hoka Hey Challenge WILL break you.  If riding in rain that turns to hail bothers you then the Hoka Hey Challenge WILL break you.  Most importantly, if you are not capable of making responsible decisions when you are beyond tired, cold to the bone and in physical pain then the Hoka Hey Challenge WILL break you in the worst sort of way.

There are parts of the Hoka Hey Challenge that will leave you with sights, events and memories of moments in time that you will look back on fondly for the rest of your life—but to get there you must ride through the hail storm, the dust storm, the blistering heat in the middle of the desert, and the bitter cold of snow fall; sometimes all four in a single day.  While riding the Challenge you will be amazed, irritated, excited, humbled, astonished, exasperated, motivated, inflicted upon, overjoyed, annoyed and impressed—each of these emotions will present themselves in equal measure each and every day.  Muscles and bones you never knew you had will ache and burn.  There will be many times you will be so tired and sore that dropping your bike when you stop at an intersection will be a real possibility and most likely will happen.

The Hoka Hey Challenge is not for the meek.  It is not for the person who “thinks” of themselves as adventurous.  It is not for the casual rider—in fact the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge is not for the vast majority of licensed motorcyclists.  It caters to a very small piece of the riding community.  The Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge may call your name… if you can talk yourself out of it I suggest you do.  If you cannot talk yourself out of it, if it becomes an obsession, if you have ridden thousands of miles in a few days and look forward to doing it again, if you are truly the type of person who has a gut-wrenching need to push yourself beyond your known limits, then the Challenge is designed specifically for you.  Regardless, the Challenge will do everything it can to break you and make you regret your decision to enter this unique realm.  The question is, “Who is stronger?  You, or the Challenge.”  Let the journey begin; Icimani-Hoka Hey 2016.


  1. I'm in and can hardly wait, for I too am a Hoka Hey Challenger, and as stated it becomes an obsession, a wonderful, bitchin, full of awesome accomplishments and memories obsession! Icimani... Hoka Hey!

    1. Capt Bobby, Yes and it was a memorable experience to ride with you. That night in Arkansas will be with me forever. 1st Time I had ever slept in a Walmart Parking Lot. As I look back It was a Hoka Hey Hilton experience. Thank you Brother.